Wednesday evening I had a doctor appointment. It was just one of those yearly "check-you-out-to-make-sure-you-are-not-dying-and-everything-is-working" appointments, so I wasn't worried about it at all.
Lilly and I have the same doctor. She is awesome. When I found out I was pregnant, I had a blind choice of three Family Practice doctors at my clinic. My PA that I was seeing said that one of them was a little odd, one was very sweet and nice, and the other was very good and very straight-forward. Dr. Rose is very good and very straight-forward. She was very honest with us and answered all of our questions throughout my entire pregnancy. She never attempted to sugar-coat anything with us, which I much prefer. She has continued my and Lilly’s care since then and is still great.
I know…I know…get on with the story...
My last appointment with Dr. Rose was on June 30th, 2010, when I was 193 pounds. She has seen me every couple of months since then during Lilly’s appointments, but we have obviously been focused on Lilly during those times.
Where is this boring story going…???
I’m sitting in the exam room waiting for her to come in, wearing one of those fun gowns that never quite close in the back and you feel all exposed and junk. Anyway, she finally walks in, sits down on the little wheely doctor stool, looks at me and says…
“Wow… (insert pause and look of shock)...how did you do it?!?!?”
With a giant smile, pride smeared all over my face, I said,
“Running. Eating better.”
She responded with,
“Wow…(opens up the growth charts they can do on the computer and does some counting). 35 pounds since your six week?!?”
“Yeah…around there.”
“What made you do it? I mean…what was your motivation?”
“What made you do it? I mean…what was your motivation?”
“Lilly. I wanted to be able to keep up with her…run with her…play…and not be tired and worn out all the time. I don’t want to keep being a big…tub of goo.”
“Wow! Good for you, Kate.”
Throughout the rest of my appointment, we talked about it: how I’d done it, what my goals were, what I’d done, etc. I told her I’m determined to be a runner. I told her I’d already run my first 5k and was hoping to do a 10k still this year…and a half marathon next year. She was very happy for me and very encouraging and almost proud. I’m sure she generally sees patients come in headed the other way…which is what I was headed for.
I know it is lame. I have never felt like I needed a doctor or teacher to tell me I’m doing something good to know I’m doing something good. However, you can work your ass off and drop 30+ pounds and have a handful of people tell you that you look different (like that boy in high school that you swore you’d make fall in love with you and marry, but he wasn’t interested and you became great friends instead {which turned out even better} and you visited him on a business trip and he told you that you looked great…yeah…that was pretty awesome), but still feel like maybe what you are doing doesn’t matter. When a medical professional is blown away by what you are doing, it makes you realize "Hey...maybe what I'm doing is important and I am changing for the better."
My point is that Dr. Rose helped me KNOW that I'm doing something great and I CAN keep going and I WILL reach my goals. Thinking about my appointment doesn't make me cringe, really...it makes me smile. It makes me proud of myself.
I don't care if it makes me a bragger. I have to feel good about what I've done and where I'm going or I. WILL. FAIL.
I WILL lose the weight.
I WILL be a runner.
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