Why I'm Here

I am a lot of things.

I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a godmother, a friend, a confidant, a student, a teacher, a singer, a softball player, a news junky, a degree holder, a rockstar wannabe, a University of Minnesota alumni, a cookie-holic, a future grad student, a dreamer, an administrative professional, a future nurse, a coffee lover, a realist, a nerd, a kid at heart...

I am a lot of things.

None of these, however, has seemed to "define" my life as much as one thing.

I am chunky.

For as long as I can remember, I have "battled the bulge" up and down. In every stage of my life, I have fought to lose some pounds, only to achieve enough of my goal to satisfy myself and then let the weight jump back on my frame. In my adult life, I have tried so many things to make the fight easy. I've tried crazy diets. I've tried an assortment of "supplements". I've tried weird workout plans. I've tried just about everything. It has all worked...for a time...but once I change my ways, the weight comes back.

I'm done with that crap!

I have been bound and determined to get down to a healthy weight and stick there. I have been bound and determined to get become a runner and stick with it.

It is working.

Now, the scary part where I share my recent and current weight and you all pretend not to judge me!

On June 26th, 2009, the day after I found out I was pregnant with Lilly, I was 181 lbs. For a girl who is 5'4", that is pretty rough. However, this is where I had settled with my normal habits, it seemed. Well, imagine this, but growing a baby makes you gain weight. On February 15th, 2010, two days before I went into labor with Lilly, I weighed in at 227 lbs. I had gained 46 pounds during my pregnancy! I went home and cried, as it was the first time in my life I had been over 200 lbs. A short woman standing only 5'4" tall should not reach 200 lbs. Mind you, Lilly was a 9 lb 5 oz baby, it didn't matter. I felt awful about myself.

Most of the weight came off pretty easily. Taking care of a newborn leaves little time for rest and eating and keeps you moving! At my six week post-partum check up, I was back under 200 lbs, weighing in at 196 lbs. I told myself that I would NEVER allow 200 lbs to be on my small frame again. Three months later on June 30, 2010, I was only down three more pounds. I didn't find this acceptable. I knew I had to fix this, but how? I just tried to watch what I ate and tried to get in some activity here and there, but to be honest, with Lilly being a mover and a shaker, I was always tired. On top of that, my sleep has gone out the window since I was about four months pregnant, but that is a WHOLE different post. As Lilly was becoming more and more active, it hit me.

I couldn't do this whole being heavy thing anymore.

I kept hearing that when you are active, you have more energy. I wanted to be able to keep up with Lilly as she got older and more mobile. I wanted to be able to run around with her and go for walks and play! I knew I had to do something once and for all about my weight.

In October 2010, I downloaded an app for my iPod: Lose It! I could track my calories and progress and I hoped it would work for me. I started off at 185 lbs on October 18th. I set my first goal at hitting 165 lbs. I tried really hard to track my calories and enter them, but it was tough. I was trying to work out, but it was sporadic.

For years I had planned to run a 5k. I decided that this would be my year. I decided to do the Couch to 5k program that I had tried many times before, but never finished. I downloaded an app for my iPod and started Week 1 Day 1 of my training on March 4.

Boy was it ROUGH! I forced myself to stick with it, running in the cold and the snow and the really odd warm days (I mean, it is MN after all!). I was DETERMINED to run that damn 5k...

On Mother's Day, May 8th, I ran my first 5k! With my brother Jason, I ran the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k, a race I had planned on running for years. Though unofficial, my time was 33:28...not bad for my first time. I ran the entire thing without walking and that made me feel like I really could do this thing! The next day, I weighed in...

On May 9th, I hit 165 lbs and I felt awesome! I set my next goal of 155 lbs.

After my 5k, I ran one time and did little else. I played softball on Sundays, but that wasn't really a work out. Lee and I decided to do Jillian Micheals' 30 Day Shred. I'd started it before, but never done the full 30 day cycle. June 1st we started and did the full 30 Day Shred. I was really proud of us both! Neither of us lost much in the way of pounds, but our bodies toned a bit. After my 30 days, I fell off the workout wagon again and became a lump of blah.

For a while, I was taking Healthé Trim. I took it for three months and, while it gave me a boost of energy, I don't think it helped me as much as my diet and exercise were. Besides, it was not cheap!

I restarted my Couch to 5k program and I'll keep up with my running.  I can't remember the last time I was small. Here is how I will do it:

  • Lose It! - I am going to try to be really good about tracking my calories. If I track every calorie (while exhausting), I will know why I am gaining/maintaining/losing weight.
  • Work It! - I am going to keep running. I want to get a few more 5k's under my belt and then I want to do a 10k. My goal is that next year, I want to do a half marathon!
  • Water It! - I am going to keep drinking lots of water. Keeping hydrated is keeping me going. It will help keep my calories down and it will keep me going on my runs.
  • Blog It! - I am going to try to keep this blog updated. If I write about my triumphs and catastrophes, I'm going to better learn from them. If I know I have to write down when I flub-up, I'll be more likely not to flub-up, right?
  • Shrug It! - I will most likely flub-up here and there. If I do, I'm going to just shrug it off and keep going. I know I will have good days and bad days. I know I will eat cookies now and then. I am a cookie girl after all! I can get through it.

I am busy just like everyone, so we will see how this goes, but you all keep me accountable, okay?